USA, all the way!?
People constantly ask me about life in America - the differences, the similarities. But Moldovans constantly frame the question in a biased manner. "It's better over there, isn't it?," or "Life in America is so much easier, yeah?" or "How can you like it HERE when you live in AMERICA?" Granted most of these people have never been out of the Soviet Union - and their perceptions of American come from Russian propaganda, and now TV and magazines.
My answer to these questions is always that life is "different" there and there are pluses and minuses of each place. My pluses for America are always proximity to mountains and ocean, free (and well-stocked) public libraries, and my family, of course. The minuses for America are a huge gap between the rich and poor (something the average Moldovan does not see or hear about), the fact that our country is split on almost every important issue, the lack of hospitality/feeling of community that exists in most of our neighborhoods (I remember being angry at people for not speaking English, instead of going out of my way to help them - as Moldovans have helped me) and I know more people in my village now than I know in River Vale, seriously, too much sacrificed for career, and the fast pace of life. For example.
Would I ever pick up and move to Moldova for good? Nope. I can live here (or anywhere else) for a few years, but I don' t think the ex-pat life suits me. I miss the open, say-anything, be who you are atmosphere of America. It's something in the air, something in the water, that reeks of possibility - of change - of momentum. Something that makes you feel like anything can happen in America, you can be who you want - if you just work towards it. (Okay maybe these Horatio Alger stories are few and far between - BUT - outside of economic talk, rags to riches - talking about forming a club, starting a sports team, writing a letter to the editor, taking an art class just because you want to - you have the freedom to do that). And it is a freedom we take for granted. To not be judged by our whims or our differences.
In Moldova, the air is more stagnant. You feel tied down by processes, bureaucratics, and in a way - tradition. "We do it like this because this is how we ALWAYS have done it" is not a rare response. Also, close ties to your neighbors can lead to competition, jealousy and nosiness - and a lot of social pressure to conform. I feel it and I don't even really live here. Moldova isn't an ethnically homogeneous society - there are Ukrainians, Romanians, Bulgarians, Turks, Armenians, Russians, Roma and Hungarians all living within this small country -- yet somehow things are generally the same across the country. Yes there are regional and ethnic differences. But go to a celebration in one house in one village in Moldova, and go the next year to the same celebration in a different house across the country and most likely you will do the same things, and eat the exact same food. I'm talking EXACT same. Sometime it is suffocating the lack of diversity of thought, and action. I know the youth feel it too - when they try to do something new, and get pulled back by people who say they can't - that it won't work that way - naysayers that have never even tried.
These youth I'm afraid will leave Moldova - to Romania most of them to do studies. And I don't blame them. Sometimes I feel like there they will have the best chance for personal improvement. But it's too bad for Moldova - who needs this new innovative generation to stay here and fight. But it's hard, sometimes too hard - when no one listens, and you have to fight a year to gain an inch, only to have half the inch taken away from you with one back room deal. People talk about you as you fight, not admirably - like you are crazy. And for a place that values community so much - to be the odd one out - you do not have a great life, and are constantly on the defensive - I see this with a lot of my students who are different - and who are not afraid to be, who express themselves differently, and although I am proud of their self-expression, I feel bad for the treatment they receive from their community. It's almost like scorn. I know they are torn - between leaving and staying. Moldova needs them. It just needs to realize it needs them.
A few months ago, I read a blog post on the "Freakonomics" website about finding a new, 6-word motto for the United States. The motto that won the contest, "Our Worst Critics Prefer to Stay", speaks, in my mind, to this very issue.
One can't describe life in America in any fixed terms, because life in America is different for each of its citizens - based on socioeconomic status, geography, race, age, religion, profession, gender, etc etc. Everyone has their own experience and interaction with the principles that shape our country. However, I think it is something to be proud of - this motto - and the truth of it -- that our society, despite all its problems, partisan fighting, and ethnic/religious bickering, makes people feel at home, like they want to stay, like they can do something to change it. And that, in my opinion, is what makes America Great - the fact that our worst critics prefer to stay, and to fight to change (and improve) our country.
America is an active process, and the fact that we admit to this, and accept it, is amazing.
My answer to these questions is always that life is "different" there and there are pluses and minuses of each place. My pluses for America are always proximity to mountains and ocean, free (and well-stocked) public libraries, and my family, of course. The minuses for America are a huge gap between the rich and poor (something the average Moldovan does not see or hear about), the fact that our country is split on almost every important issue, the lack of hospitality/feeling of community that exists in most of our neighborhoods (I remember being angry at people for not speaking English, instead of going out of my way to help them - as Moldovans have helped me) and I know more people in my village now than I know in River Vale, seriously, too much sacrificed for career, and the fast pace of life. For example.
Would I ever pick up and move to Moldova for good? Nope. I can live here (or anywhere else) for a few years, but I don' t think the ex-pat life suits me. I miss the open, say-anything, be who you are atmosphere of America. It's something in the air, something in the water, that reeks of possibility - of change - of momentum. Something that makes you feel like anything can happen in America, you can be who you want - if you just work towards it. (Okay maybe these Horatio Alger stories are few and far between - BUT - outside of economic talk, rags to riches - talking about forming a club, starting a sports team, writing a letter to the editor, taking an art class just because you want to - you have the freedom to do that). And it is a freedom we take for granted. To not be judged by our whims or our differences.
In Moldova, the air is more stagnant. You feel tied down by processes, bureaucratics, and in a way - tradition. "We do it like this because this is how we ALWAYS have done it" is not a rare response. Also, close ties to your neighbors can lead to competition, jealousy and nosiness - and a lot of social pressure to conform. I feel it and I don't even really live here. Moldova isn't an ethnically homogeneous society - there are Ukrainians, Romanians, Bulgarians, Turks, Armenians, Russians, Roma and Hungarians all living within this small country -- yet somehow things are generally the same across the country. Yes there are regional and ethnic differences. But go to a celebration in one house in one village in Moldova, and go the next year to the same celebration in a different house across the country and most likely you will do the same things, and eat the exact same food. I'm talking EXACT same. Sometime it is suffocating the lack of diversity of thought, and action. I know the youth feel it too - when they try to do something new, and get pulled back by people who say they can't - that it won't work that way - naysayers that have never even tried.
These youth I'm afraid will leave Moldova - to Romania most of them to do studies. And I don't blame them. Sometimes I feel like there they will have the best chance for personal improvement. But it's too bad for Moldova - who needs this new innovative generation to stay here and fight. But it's hard, sometimes too hard - when no one listens, and you have to fight a year to gain an inch, only to have half the inch taken away from you with one back room deal. People talk about you as you fight, not admirably - like you are crazy. And for a place that values community so much - to be the odd one out - you do not have a great life, and are constantly on the defensive - I see this with a lot of my students who are different - and who are not afraid to be, who express themselves differently, and although I am proud of their self-expression, I feel bad for the treatment they receive from their community. It's almost like scorn. I know they are torn - between leaving and staying. Moldova needs them. It just needs to realize it needs them.
A few months ago, I read a blog post on the "Freakonomics" website about finding a new, 6-word motto for the United States. The motto that won the contest, "Our Worst Critics Prefer to Stay", speaks, in my mind, to this very issue.
One can't describe life in America in any fixed terms, because life in America is different for each of its citizens - based on socioeconomic status, geography, race, age, religion, profession, gender, etc etc. Everyone has their own experience and interaction with the principles that shape our country. However, I think it is something to be proud of - this motto - and the truth of it -- that our society, despite all its problems, partisan fighting, and ethnic/religious bickering, makes people feel at home, like they want to stay, like they can do something to change it. And that, in my opinion, is what makes America Great - the fact that our worst critics prefer to stay, and to fight to change (and improve) our country.
America is an active process, and the fact that we admit to this, and accept it, is amazing.
This entry was posted
on Wednesday, August 20, 2008 at 3:20 PM.
